Do You Bring Flowers to a Wake? And Why Do We Even Have Wakes?

The tradition of bringing flowers to a wake is deeply rooted in cultural practices, but it also raises questions about the purpose of wakes themselves. Why do we gather to mourn the dead, and what role do flowers play in this ritual? This article explores the multifaceted nature of wakes, the symbolism of flowers, and the evolving customs surrounding death and remembrance.

The Origin of Wakes

Wakes have been a part of human culture for centuries, serving as a time for family and friends to come together to mourn, remember, and celebrate the life of the deceased. Historically, wakes were held in the home of the deceased, often lasting several days. The term “wake” itself comes from the Old English word “wacu,” meaning “watch” or “vigil,” reflecting the practice of staying awake to keep watch over the body before burial.

In many cultures, wakes are seen as a way to honor the dead and provide comfort to the living. They offer a space for shared grief, storytelling, and the expression of emotions that might otherwise remain unspoken. The communal aspect of wakes helps to reinforce social bonds and provides a sense of closure for those left behind.

The Symbolism of Flowers

Flowers have long been associated with death and mourning. Their transient beauty serves as a reminder of the fragility of life, while their vibrant colors and delicate forms offer a sense of hope and renewal. Different flowers carry different meanings, and the choice of flowers at a wake can convey specific sentiments.

• Lilies: Often associated with funerals, lilies symbolize the restored innocence of the soul of the deceased.
• Roses: Red roses signify love and respect, while white roses represent purity and innocence.
• Chrysanthemums: In many European cultures, chrysanthemums are exclusively used for funerals and symbolize death.
• Carnations: These flowers are often used in funeral wreaths and symbolize love and remembrance.

The act of bringing flowers to a wake is not just about the flowers themselves but also about the gesture. It is a way for mourners to express their condolences and show support for the bereaved family. The flowers serve as a visual representation of the love and respect that people have for the deceased.

The Evolution of Wakes and Funeral Customs

As society changes, so too do the customs surrounding death and mourning. In many Western cultures, wakes have become more formalized, often taking place in funeral homes rather than private residences. The duration of wakes has also shortened, with many now lasting only a few hours.

In some cultures, wakes have been replaced or supplemented by other forms of memorialization, such as celebration of life ceremonies, which focus more on the positive aspects of the deceased’s life rather than the act of mourning. These ceremonies often include music, storytelling, and other personal touches that reflect the individuality of the person who has passed away.

The role of flowers in these evolving customs has also changed. While flowers remain a common feature at wakes and funerals, there is a growing trend towards alternative forms of remembrance, such as charitable donations in lieu of flowers. This shift reflects a broader cultural move towards more personalized and meaningful ways of honoring the dead.

The Psychological Impact of Wakes and Flowers

Wakes and the presence of flowers can have a profound psychological impact on those who are grieving. The act of gathering together with others who share in the loss can provide a sense of community and support. The visual and olfactory presence of flowers can also have a calming effect, helping to create a peaceful and reflective atmosphere.

For many, the act of choosing and bringing flowers to a wake is a way to actively participate in the mourning process. It allows mourners to express their emotions in a tangible way and to contribute to the collective memory of the deceased. The flowers become a symbol of the love and respect that the community holds for the person who has passed away.

Conclusion

The tradition of bringing flowers to a wake is a deeply symbolic act that serves multiple purposes. It is a way to honor the deceased, provide comfort to the living, and participate in the communal process of mourning. As funeral customs continue to evolve, the role of flowers may change, but their significance as a symbol of love, respect, and remembrance is likely to endure.

Related Q&A

Q: Why are lilies commonly associated with funerals? A: Lilies are often associated with funerals because they symbolize the restored innocence of the soul of the deceased. Their pure white color and delicate form make them a fitting tribute to someone who has passed away.

Q: Can I bring flowers other than lilies to a wake? A: Absolutely. While lilies are traditional, many other flowers are also appropriate for wakes. Roses, chrysanthemums, and carnations are all commonly used and carry their own meanings.

Q: Is it appropriate to bring flowers to a celebration of life ceremony? A: Yes, flowers are still a common and appropriate gesture at celebration of life ceremonies. However, some families may request donations to a charity in lieu of flowers, so it’s always a good idea to check with the family or the event organizer.

Q: How long do wakes typically last? A: The duration of wakes can vary widely depending on cultural and personal preferences. Traditional wakes might last several days, while more modern wakes often last only a few hours.

Q: What should I do if I can’t attend a wake but want to send flowers? A: If you can’t attend a wake, you can still send flowers to the family or the funeral home. Many florists offer delivery services specifically for funeral arrangements. Be sure to include a note expressing your condolences.